


Life in Words

by WatsonWarrior



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Drabble, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-05-03
Packaged: 2017-11-04 15:34:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/395410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatsonWarrior/pseuds/WatsonWarrior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock's and John's life, in dialogue only.  These will all be short, fun little drabbles.  Please excuse my lack of talent.  I get ideas but I don't have the abilities needed to execute them.  However, I do try and these are fun to write.  So, enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Road Trip

**Author's Note:**

> Sherlock does not like having to be in the car for hours. John has trouble dealing with the consulting-five-year-old.

“Are we there yet?”

“Oh, no, Sherlock. Don’t you even start that up.”

“John-”

“No. We’re not there and we won’t be for another sixteen hours.”

“I told you we should have flown, John. We’d be there already.”

“I don’t care. I wanted to drive. I _like_ driving.”

“Your feet barely reach the peddles. You have to strain your legs. How is that enjoyable?”

“I’ll hit you, Sherlock.”

“Best not take your hand off the wheel; your other might not be able to keep control of the car, being so small… _OW_!”

“I warned you.”

“…”

“…”

“Are we-”

“ **NO**.”

 

~~~~~

 

"Do you think that woman knows there's been a dead body in her trunk before?"

"Sherlock..."

"Hm.   _Two_  dead bodies, in fact."

"Jesus...  Sherlock, quit deducing the other drivers."

"I'm _bored._ "

"I don't care.  It's rude and there are some things I really do not need to know about random strangers."

"Then what am I _supposed to do, Jo-_

The radio, John?  Are you serious?  Do you honestly expect me to be entertained by this mockery of _real_ music?"

"No, but hopefully, it'll drown you out."

"Hmph."

 

~~~~~

 

“How much longer?”

“We’ll be at the inn in another hour or so.”

“Oh, GOD. John, please. Pull over.”

“No, we’re almost there.”

“John, I can’t feel my legs. Pull over; I need to walk.”

“Sherlock, I said no. Now-

What was that for?”

“Incentive. If you pull over now, we’ll be in a very secluded spot. I can elaborate on that gesture.”

“In… public? Sherlock… No.”

“Come, John. An experiment.”

“Oh? What are we experimenting? How many times I hit the wheel with my arse? No, Sherlock.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Sherlock! Get your hand ou-!”

“How much longer?”

“Jesus Christ. I’m pulling over.”

~~~~~

 

“Oi!  Watch your elbow!  Fuck!”

“I’m-”

“ _OW_!”

“-trying. Sorry, John.”

“Shut up and hand me my pants.”

“Ah… Where are they?”

“… you’re the one who pulled them off, Sherlock.”

“Did I? Hm.”

“Sherlock… **_WHERE ARE MY PANTS_**?”

 

~~~~~

 

“If you keep shifting in your seat like that, you’re going to wreck us.”

“I wouldn’t be shifting if I couldn’t feel the zip of my trousers rubbing against my-”

“I _said_ I was sorry, John. Besides, it’s hardly _my_ fault that bird decided to use your pants in her nest.”

“But you’re the one who tossed them out the window, Sherlock.”

“Not on _purpose_ and I _did_  apologize.  Twice.”

“…”

“…”

“Fine.”

“Hm?”

“I forgive you.”

“I love you, John.”

“I love you, Sherlock.”

~~~~~

 

“ _Finally_.”

“It wasn’t that bad of a drive, Sherlock.”

“You took away my phone.”

“Because you kept texting _me_.”

“I was _bored_ , John.”

“You’re worse than a child sometimes, do you know that?”

“My mind is much more advanced than that of a child.”

“Which says nothing for your behavior. Ah, ah, ah, hold on a minute. You have to help with the bags, Sherlock.”

“…”

“I mean it.”

“…”

“Sherlock…”

“…”

“Dammit.  Fine.  Go check us in.”

“Hm. I suppose I could. Though, you _are_ asking quite a bit of-”

“ ** _GO_**!”

“…

I'm already gone.”

“Git.”


	2. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock and John aren't always at their best in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terrible, but this is fun. :) I like thinking about domestic Johnlock things! :D

“Get up.”

  


“Nunf.”

“That is not an actual word.  Get.  Up.”

“Sherl-”

“Now.”

“No.  Just let me- _Umph_!  Sherlock!  Get off!”

“No.”

“For the love of-  Sherl-   ** _OH_**!  Jesus…  You could have warned me.”

“Hm.  What for?”

“…

I can’t think of a single reason.”

“Then shut up and move.”

~~~~~

“Quit hogging the water, Sherlock.”

“Mm.”

“I mean it.  I’ve got to get this soap off.”

“Alright…”

“Sherlock, I meant for you to move.  Not- 

We’re never going to get out of this shower if we just stand here, cuddling.”

“Mm.  So?”

“The water will go cold.”

“Ah.  That does present a problem.  However, there is a simple solution.”

“Yeah?”

“…”

“Sherlock…  Where are you going?!”

“To get my dressing gown and a blanket.  Then, to the couch.  Join me when you’re finished here.”

~~~~~

“Pass the-”

“No.”

“Sherlock-”

“I said no.  I’m busy.”

“It is literally two inches from your hand.”

“That does not make me any less busy, John.  It just makes the salt nearer to me than you.  Get it yourself and quit distracting me.”

“…”

“…”

“Are you ser-?”

“Yes.”

“…”

“…”

“Fine.”

“…”

“Sherlo-”

“Oh, for God’s sake.  What?!”

“Pass the-   _ **OW**_!  Dammit, Sherlock, don’t throw things!”

~~~~~

“Do you have the keys?”

“Yes, John.”

“Alright, let’s go.”

“We’re already late.”

“We’re always late.  People expect it now, Sherlock.  Ah.  Do you want to get a cab, or should we walk?”

“Cab.”

“Alright.  

Oh, shit.  I forgot my wallet.  I’ll run up to get it while you get us a cab.  I’ll need the keys.”

“…”

“Sherlock?  The keys?”

“I don’t have them.”

“…”

“…”

“You said you had them, Sherlock.”

“Hm.  Did I?  I must not have been paying attention to what you were saying.”

“So…  the keys are in the flat, which is locked?”

“So it would seem.”

“Mrs. Hudson is at her sister’s.”

“Yes, I know.” 

“How’re we going to get in?”

“…”

“…”

“Will you be climbing through a window, or shall I?”

“You’re the one who left the keys in the flat.”

“It does seem fair that I be the one to do it, doesn’t it?”

“I’m climbing into one of Mrs. Hudson’s windows, aren’t I?”

“Yes, John.”

“ _Fine._ ”


End file.
